How do you know whether you and your divorcing spouse might be candidates for divorce mediation?

In mediation, the emphasis is on both parties communicating and cooperating to achieve a common goal. This is the opposite of the litigation model for divorce where two combatants battle in the courts in pursuit of their individual goals.

Determining whether mediation, not litigation, may be an appropriate strategy for your divorce typically depends on two factors:

  1. Acrimony. How angry, hurt, or combative are you and your spouse? Can you discuss the issues before you to their resolution? Or is one of you more interested in drawing “lines in the sand,” and battling the other at all costs until there is “blood on the field?”
  2. Whether either or both sides in the divorce may have concealed assets.  If one or both spouses strongly suspect that the other has hidden assets, it may be necessary to invoke the “discovery” techniques inherent in litigation that may lead to them being uncovered, and then equitably distributed.

Mediation enables you and your ex to control your outcome

Unlike litigation where opposing parties are the norm, mediation demands at least a modicum of cooperation.

In divorce mediation, you and your spouse take mutual control over the conversation. You and your soon-to-be-ex, with the help of a mediator acting as a facilitator in negotiations, jointly discuss the open issues in your divorce with an eye to ending your marriage civilly. Common issues that may be resolved through mediation include child support, custody, alimony, and property distribution.

Why mediate your divorce?

There are many reasons mediation may be an option in your divorce. Included among these are:

  1. There are no children and both parties have few, if any assets;
  1. Both spouses have expressed a strong preference to work together to achieve an amicable resolution to the issues in their divorce; or
  1. Both spouses wish to avoid the uncertain time frame and expense attendant upon litigated divorces, which are often longer and more expensive than mediated ones.

If you have questions about whether mediation is an appropriate strategy for your divorce, let’s talk. I’m Dan Stock and you can reach me at 475-232-4105 or email me at for a confidential consultation to discuss your separation, divorce, asset, and debt allocation, custody, child support, alimony, or property division issues.


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